


Of Aftermath and Recovery

by StilinskiDreams



Series: Stiles Just Can't Stay Out of Trouble [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious Stiles Stilinski, BAMF Everybody, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Derek, Protective Lydia, Protective Scott, Protective Sheriff, Romance, Stiles-centric, TW: Panic Attacks, oh the pain, tw: PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 08:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10693011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StilinskiDreams/pseuds/StilinskiDreams
Summary: Hey! Thank you so much for the feedback on my first two fanfics! This is the third and final (maybe) installment of my "Stiles Just Can't Stay Out of Trouble" series. It takes place very soon after part two and deals a lot with the trauma and anxiety after the events of the first two stories. I hope you like it!





	1. Chapter 1

[The gun was pointed at his head. He couldn’t stop shaking- he couldn’t breathe. This was it. He was going to die. He would never see his dad again- then the gun turned to Scott. The bullet shot out and he fell to the ground. Stiles screamed. Then he was on the grass. Blood poured out of him, staining the ground beneath. Derek kneeled over him, panting as Stiles’ pain snaked its way up his arms. Stiles tried to push him away, tried to make him stop; then he collapsed. Stiles couldn’t see him anymore. He couldn’t see at all. He desperately tried to stand up, to get help, to do something, anything-]

“Stiles! STILES!” Stiles shot upward on the bed, gasping for air. His eyes flew open and he could see Scott’s concerned eyes looking into his. Scott grabbed him by the shoulders and did his best to untangle him from the heavy comforter. He was drenched in sweat and shuddering with chills. He could feel nausea burning through his stomach and he barely processed a bucket being thrust onto his lap just in time to empty his stomach into it. Stiles reeled, desperately trying to escape his heavy bed coverings and find some fresh air. Scott calmly handed him a glass of water and gently urged him to drink. Stiles spent all of his energy on trying not to puke all over Scott as he opened his eyes again and tried to slow his breathing.

“S-scott? What are you-”

Scott removed the defiled bucket from Stiles’ grasp and replaced it with a fresh one. “Your dad was called into work last-minute. He asked if I could keep an eye on you.” Scott’s expression was sympathetic, but there was no trace of condescension. 

Stiles sighed, embarrassed, and leaned back on his headboard. “I’m sorry...” 

Scott smiled warmly. “Not your fault. You know that. Please try to give yourself a break.”

“I will when you do.” Stiles tried to smile back, but it came out as more of a grimace.

Scott motioned for him to drink some more. “It’s really ok, I promise. I just want to help.”

“What time is it?” Stiles tried to turn his head to look at his alarm clock but the slightest movement made him dizzy. 

“It’s only 11:00.” 

Stiles looked up, surprised. “P.M.?” 

Scott chuckled. “Yeah. Do you want to go back to sleep?” He looked guilty, like this was somehow his fault. That just made Stiles feel worse. Scott should be getting taken care of… he shouldn’t have to support everybody else. Still, Stiles needed his support and they both knew it. 

“Not really.” Scott wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

“Ok. Do you want to go downstairs?” Stiles nodded. Scott gently helped him to his feet and steadied him as he struggled to find his balance. Stiles was leaning heavily on Scott by the time they made it to the stairs. Scott held onto his arm firmly. “Are you ok?” It was a weird question. He wasn’t ok. Scott wasn’t ok either. It was no secret. When had the phrase ‘are you ok’ changed from ‘are you well’ to ‘are you not imminently about to die’? Stiles nodded. Scott slowly walked him down the stairs and helped him settle on the couch. Stiles was almost panting by the time he sat down; the effort of making a short trip downstairs had exhausted him.

“Thanks Scotty.” 

Scott smiled. “You’re welcome. Are you hungry?” 

Stiles stomach turned at the thought of food. “No. Just tired.” That was an understatement. It’d been about a week since Stiles had come home from the hospital and he wasn’t sure that he’d gotten more than a total of eight hours of sleep in that entire time. He couldn’t fall asleep and when he did he couldn’t stay asleep. Then he would do everything in his power to avoid falling asleep again because of the dreams. Derek wanted to stay over, but Stiles insisted that he was fine and that Derek should get some rest of his own. He didn’t seem convinced but he respected Stiles’ wishes anyway. He was over in a minute if Stiles asked, but Stiles was determined not to make him lose sleep on a regular basis. 

Scott sat down next to him. “Stop worrying so much.” He must have been listening to Stiles’ heartbeat. At this point Stiles wondered if he just listened to his heartbeat nonstop. He looked over at his brother.

“You first.” 

“I’m the best friend. I’m allowed to worry.” 

Stiles scowled. “I’m the best friend too… why shouldn’t I?” 

“Yeah but you’re the one who almost died. Twice.” Scott gave him a pointed look.

Stiles tried to keep the bitter edge out of his voice. “You’re the one who had to watch. Twice.” 

Scott was caught off guard by that response. “That’s actually a pretty good point.” 

Stiles finally gave him a real smile. “Ha! I win.” Scott returned his grin.

“Seriously, though, I know you think that you’re burdening me.” Stiles didn’t argue. There was no point. He just gave Scott a noncommittal shrug and waited for him to continue. “I want you to know that you are not bothering me in any way and that I am absolutely happy to help you with anything you need and I know you understand because you would do the exact same thing for me, ten times over.” Stiles couldn’t argue with that either. His heart swelled with fondness for his friend. 

“Thanks man.” 

Scott smiled softly. “Stiles?”

“Yeah?” 

“Does your dad know how bad it is?” 

Stiles raised his eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

“The anxiety. The nightmares. All of it. Does he know?” 

Stiles shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Scott sighed. “So that’s a no, then?” Stiles didn’t respond for a moment. 

“He already worries too much. He doesn’t need anything else on his mind.” 

“He just wants to know that you’re alright.” Scott looked at Stiles imploringly.

“I am,” Stiles lied. Scott clearly didn’t believe him but let the matter rest for the time being. They sat quietly for a moment before Stiles continued, “how are you doing?”

“I’m pretty good. I’m worried about you though, and I’m nervous for that physics test on Monday.” Stiles was extremely grateful to Scott for being real with him. 

“I can help you study for that.” Scott smiled over at him. 

“That would be awesome. Thanks dude.” Stiles grinned and tried to relax his muscles. It was extremely refreshing for someone to act so normal with him. Not that others weren’t… but he knew that Scott was making an extra effort not to treat him differently in any way. A sudden knock at the door made Stiles jump.

“What the hell-” He watched as Scott walked up to the front door and opened it to reveal an impatient-looking Derek. Stiles glared at Scott accusingly.

“I swear I didn’t ask him to come over! I just told him what was going on.” Scott looked so guilty that Stiles almost laughed. 

“Great, tell Lydia too. Let’s just make it a party.” Scott grinned sheepishly. Stiles rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Scott?” 

Scott shrugged. “Sorry. They’re always asking questions.” 

Derek walked over to Stiles and sat down on his left, putting an arm around his shoulders. “It’s not Scott’s fault. I can come over as much as I want.” 

Stiles leaned against him. “Not if I get a restraining order.” 

Derek laughed. “You’d miss me too much.” That was true. Stiles jumped involuntarily when there was another knock at the door. Derek felt it but he didn’t say anything. Scott let Lydia in and she casually walked over and sat on a reclining chair near the couch. Scott sat down on the other side of Stiles as Lydia looked him up and down.

“You’re not getting nearly enough sleep. You’ll make yourself sick.” 

Stiles sighed. “I know.”

Lydia frowned, worried. “How much did you eat today?” 

Stiles shrugged. “I had a salad for lunch.”

Derek looked alarmed. “That’s it?” Stiles nodded. 

Lydia marched into the kitchen and came back with a bowl of almonds. “Here. Protein. They help anxiety too.” She handed Stiles the bowl.

“I’m really not hungry-” She cut him off.

“You don’t feel hungry, but you are. Hunger will make you feel worse. Just try a little bit?” Stiles gave in and ate a few. It did help to settle his stomach somewhat. 

“You guys need rest too, you know.” He tried to look stern but he couldn’t keep the fondness out of his voice, nor the relief out of his eyes that they were all there. Derek spoke up.

“We want to help.” 

Stiles looked over at him. “But who helps you guys?” 

“You do,” Scott responded without missing a beat. Stiles looked at him incredulously. 

Lydia met his tired gaze with her bright jade eyes and asked, “You don’t even know, do you?” Stiles responded only with a perplexed expression. Derek grabbed his hand without saying a word. Scott turned on the TV and Lydia quietly urged Stiles to eat more. They sat relatively quietly for a while, occasionally speaking but mostly just finding comfort in each other’s company.


	2. Chapter 2

[They all lay on the ground, unmoving. The man stepped over them, sneering at Stiles. ‘You did this to them. They’re here because of you. You killed them.’ Stiles fell to the ground. ‘No, no…’ he wept. Suddenly the man’s face morphed into the Nogitsune’s and hissed, ‘How about a riddle, Stiles?’ Stiles buried his head in his hands. Not again, not again-]

Stiles jerked awake. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead and looked around. Scott and Derek were asleep on either side of him, and Lydia dozed in the chair across from them. The TV was still on. Stiles looked at the clock on the wall: 1:00 a.m.. He closed his eyes against the tears forming and tried not to make any noise. He was shaking and trying to swallow the nausea inching its way up his throat. He tried to quiet down his breathing and hold still, but it only got worse. His entire body ached and he thought his heart might burst out of his chest. He couldn’t breathe. He was being suffocated. The blankets were strangling him. It was so hot….

“Derek.” The word came out as a hoarse whisper but Derek opened his eyes almost immediately. He saw the panic in Stiles’ eyes and pulled him into his arms.

“It’s ok. We’re all ok. It wasn’t real.” Stiles just held onto him. He was too exhausted to speak. He made no move to wipe away the tears running down his face. Derek moved his head slightly to avoid yelling in Stiles’ ear. “Scott. Scott- wake up.” Scott’s eyes shot open.

“Derek? Stiles!” He jumped up upon seeing the look on Stiles’ face. 

“Scott, turn the light on. Not the big one - just the lamp over there.” Derek spoke calmly and quietly, not loosening his grip on Stiles. Scott did as he was told and quickly sat back down next to his friend, at a loss for how else to help. Lydia groggily opened her eyes, took one look at Stiles, and instinctively began exaggerating her slow, steady breathing for Stiles to follow. Stiles tried to focus but all he could see were their bodies on the ground and the nogitsune in front of him- the image sent him stumbling to the bathroom. He retched, sobbing and struggling to breathe. His knees buckled and Derek caught him before he crashed to the floor. He could barely make out the sound of Scott anxiously talking to someone on the phone as he felt himself being lifted up and guided back to the couch. He let Derek support him. He didn’t have the energy to resist. 

Scott’s voice shook as he spoke into the phone, “Ok. Thanks mom. I’ll text you, ok? Love you. Bye.” He hung up, looking petrified.

Stiles tried to breathe as slowly as possible. “Don’t take me to the hospital… please…” Derek was rubbing his back and holding him upright. Lydia was looking at him with the clinical expression she always wore when she was trying to understand something. Scott gave him a watery smile. 

“Mom says you can stay here as long as you don’t black out. You need to eat though, ok?” Stiles nodded, finally starting to feel the panic dying down. Lydia suddenly looked like she was about to have a panic attack herself, but she composed herself enough to run to the kitchen and come back with a glass of water. She pushed it into Stiles’ hands and he drank. 

He wanted to apologize but he knew they hated it when he did that, so instead he said, “You guys are outstanding. Seriously. All of you. You’re the bee’s knees.” They laughed, making Stiles feel instantly better. 

Lydia gestured for him to drink more. “No one says ‘bee’s knees’ anymore, Stiles.”

“I’m bringing it back.”

“Good luck with that.” Scott smiled as he listened to Stiles’ heartbeat start to even out. Lydia hesitantly relaxed into her chair. Stiles leaned heavily against Derek, dead-tired. Derek sighed, predicting that it would be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

It had only been an hour, but Stiles felt like he was losing his mind. He desperately wanted to let the others sleep. They were so exhausted; he could see it in their eyes. They did so much for him… too much. They seemed to be in varying levels of sleep depth: Scott snoring loudly beside him, Lydia breathing relatively deeply on the chair, and then Derek on the other side of Stiles twitching and looking like he might wake up if Stiles thought about him hard enough. Stiles tried to be as quiet as he possibly could while keeping his breathing under control and trying to hold still. He hadn't dozed off even for a minute; he stared at the wall and tried to keep his mind quiet.  


After a while he really needed the restroom and he was absolutely determined to make sure that the others stayed asleep. He slowly untangled himself from Derek and shakily stood up, willing himself not to throw up or pass out. He made his way over to the bathroom, leaning on the wall for support. He relieved himself, washed his hands, and stepped out the door. Suddenly all he could see was Allison lying dead on the ground. He'd been unconscious during the event itself, but his imagination supplied all of the gory details. There was one thought that wouldn’t leave his head... she was dead because of him. 

[We killed her, Stiles. You let me in. You weren't smart enough. You weren't strong enough.]

Stiles tried to block out the terrible noise. He pressed his hands on either side of his head as if he could force the voice out of his mind through sheer will.

[Look at them taking care of you. You don't deserve their love. They should hate you.]

Stiles slid down the wall, head spinning. He couldn't feel his legs. His hands were shaking. His vision was blurry. His head was pounding. He thought he was going to be sick again. He just wanted to pass out… for it all to end…

“Stiles?” Lydia’s voice was no more than a whisper. She knelt down in front of him. “Stiles? Can you look at me?” 

He lifted his gaze to meet hers. “I'm sorry. God, Lydia… I'm so sorry…” He was panting. 

Lydia looked at him fearfully. “What? Why are you sorry?” She grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes, trying to understand. 

“Allison… I'm sorry for Allison… I'm so sorry…” Lydia stared at him. She couldn't believe that after all this time he could still blame himself for her death. She would do anything to take this undeserved guilt away from him. She involuntarily flinched at the name, but quickly brought her attention back to Stiles. Her eyes were fiery, angry.

“Listen. To. Me.” Stiles blinked, visibly unnerved. Lydia continued, “You were not, in any way, by any logic whatsoever, responsible for Allison’s death. Are you listening to me? You were in that tunnel with me. You weren't even awake. How could you possibly have caused her death?” Tears glistened in her eyes as she stared into his. 

Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and his chest burned. “I let him in…”

“No, Stiles. You didn't do anything. The nogitsune possessed you, ok? You were being controlled. There was nothing you could have done. If it hadn't possessed you it would've possessed someone else and people would've gotten hurt all the same. Besides, you fought it and you defeated it. You are not responsible for the damage it did. Are you hearing me?”

Stiles nodded slightly, eyes closed and body trembling. Lydia wrapped her arms around him and quietly spoke into his ear, “Nobody blames you because you are not to blame. Do you understand that?” He didn't respond, he only leaned into her shoulder and cried quietly between his gasping breaths. After a few minutes she leaned back to look him in the eyes again. “Do you want to go back to the couch?” Stiles nodded and started to stand up. He stumbled and Lydia caught him, dipping under his weight. He looked apologetic as he tried to pull himself up. Lydia put an arm around his middle and led him back to the living room, where she was surprised to see Scott and Derek sitting on the couch, quite awake and looking devastated. Derek helped her settle Stiles back down on the couch, where he sat in uncomfortable silence.

Stiles wouldn't look Scott in the eye. Scott gazed at his brother, horrified and heartbroken at what he'd just overheard. He knew Stiles had struggled with guilt initially but he'd had no idea that Stiles still blamed himself. Fury rose up in Scott’s chest at the thought of the nogitsune still tormenting Stiles even now. “Stiles?” Scott spoke cautiously. Stiles turned to him, pain written all over his features. Scott didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to comfort Stiles with something like this? How could anybody deal with something like this? Instead he closed his mouth and pulled Stiles into a fierce hug. Stiles hugged him back, saying nothing. Scott looked him hard in the eyes but still didn't speak. He didn't need to. He knew that Stiles understood. Stiles smiled sadly at him and Scott reached over and squeezed his shoulder. 

Derek had been studying Stiles since he'd returned from the hallway with Lydia. His expression was difficult to read but he looked like he was about to say something. Stiles waited nervously, but instead Derek just gently took Stiles’ face in his hands and kissed him. Stiles was surprised but he certainly wasn't complaining. He melted into the kiss as Derek ran his hands through his hair. At just the point when Stiles was starting to wonder if they were making Scott and Lydia uncomfortable, Derek pulled away. “I love you.” He laced his hand in Stiles’.

Stiles gave him a tear-rimmed smile. “I love you too.” 

Scott was looking at them with a mixture of fondness and slight discomfort. “I love you too, bro.” 

Stiles laughed. “Love you, Scotty.” 

Lydia smiled, that happy sparkle in her eyes again. “I love you too, and you don't have to say it back because we all know that you loved me before you even knew these clowns.” Stiles laughed.

“We’re going to be ok. You know that, right?” Scott spoke softly, but with a resolve that caught Stiles’ attention and made him listen carefully. The others nodded, echoing the sentiment. Stiles looked around at each of them in turn. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. Thank you.” And he did know. It was hard to imagine that future, but he knew it was coming. It always came.


	4. Chapter 4

I was 4:00 a.m.. None of them had fallen back asleep. Lydia had made Stiles eat some more and Scott had put a movie in, but Stiles was too distracted to even notice which movie it was. The background noise helped, though. So did the warmth and steady presence of Derek on his left, Scott on his right, and Lydia right across from him. His heart raced, knowing what awaited him if he fell asleep again. Derek’s warm voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to, but it might help.” 

Stiles decided to open up. What could it hurt at this point? He took a deep breath. “You guys always die. In the dreams… you always die trying to save me. It’s my fault. You guys keep getting dragged into things because of me-” 

Derek cut him off. “Listen, Stiles. You always get dragged into things because of us, ok?” Scott was nodding in agreement. Derek continued, “Seriously, we should be apologizing to you and Lydia every day for the crap that we bring you into.” Lydia nodded enthusiastically at that, making Stiles smile slightly. 

“If any of you ever got hurt on my account…” Stiles’ voice trailed off. 

Scott continued his sentence, “then we’d be even for all of the times that you’ve gotten hurt on my account. Like a few months ago, for example. I should be the one feeling guilty, and I do.” 

“You guys are the ones who saved me!” Stiles protested. 

Scott looked him firmly in the eyes. “Do you have any idea how many times you’ve saved all of us? It’s a two-way street. You can apologize for making us worry about you after Derek apologizes for making you hold him up in that pool for two hours.” 

Derek laughed. “Hey, leave me alone. He’s saved your ass way more times than mine.” Stiles was dumbfounded. He looked to Lydia and she smiled knowingly. 

“We’re pack, yeah? That means we help each other. It’s in the job description.” She smiled again as Stiles’ face brightened. 

“Now that I think about it, I am extremely awesome and you guys owe me big time.” They laughed and Stiles felt genuinely happy for the first time in days. Derek squeezed his hand.

“That’s more like it. None of us are ok, Stiles. We all know that. We don’t have to be ok yet, and especially not you.” Stiles laid his head on his shoulder. 

“Thank you all for coming over.” He looked at them gratefully, wishing he could express the sentiment more strongly. They seemed to get it, though. 

Scott smiled. “You bet.” He frowned as Stiles suddenly winced and brought a hand to his head. “Stiles?”

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

“I’m just a little dizzy. That’s all. No big deal.” He tried to sit up and quickly fell back against Derek as dark spots dotted his vision. “Ok… maybe a lot dizzy.” Derek listened to his heartbeat, concerned. It was too fast, but it was steady.

“You need sleep.” Lydia’s tone was kind, but commanding. Stiles sighed and curled up against Derek who immediately put an arm around him. Scott moved closer to Stiles on the couch and motioned for Lydia to come sit next to him. She spoke again once they were all squeezed on the couch. “Look, we’re all here. We’re all safe. Take it from your friendly neighborhood banshee: we are all very much alive. None of us are going anywhere.” Stiles smiled and closed his eyes. Derek traced a finger along his forearm and talked softly into his ear. Scott grabbed the remote and started The Avengers over, noting that Stiles hadn’t paid any attention to it the first time around. The all fell asleep curled up on the small couch.

 

The Sheriff had been upset that he had to leave so late at night, but he knew that Scott would take care of Stiles. He’d been trying to give Stiles space in the past week while supporting him in any way that he could, but his heart broke for his boy. He just wanted him to be alright. He’d called Melissa far too many times in the past few days to describe Stiles’ symptoms and to be reassured that they were normal and expected. He knew she didn’t mind, though. She cared about Stiles just as much as he did. The Sheriff slowly, quietly unlocked the front door and stepped inside, surprised to see the TV and lamp on. Stiles, Derek, Scott, and Lydia were all asleep on the couch. He chuckled to himself and made a mental note that they could probably use a bigger couch. Stiles was fidgeting, but he seemed to be deeply asleep and he looked pretty peaceful. The Sheriff smiled fondly at Stiles and his boyfriend and friends, thankful for each one of them. They had a long way to go, but they had each other until they got there. The Sheriff pulled a blanket over the four of them and quietly made his way upstairs.

 

THE END


End file.
